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Wall Street Bonuses Increase 17%: A Banker’s Reaction

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A little part of me dies when I read stories like this. I mean, I know Wall Street “owns” Congress, as Rep. Dick Durbin was kind enough to inform us, and so the chances of any meaningful punitive action towards them are virtually nil, but still these developments never fail to outrage.

And through it all, one cannot help but wonder: What exactly do these bankers do to deserve their multi-million dollar salaries? People tell me they “work hard”, sure, but then so does a ditch-digger outside Kuala Lumpur, and no one pays him a million dollars. It isn’t even as though their work helps anyone, or at least not objectively. I’ve heard all manner of explanations that “the economy stops without Wall Street” – as though it hadn’t done that with Wall Street’s help.

The part most perplexing to me is how these bankers seem immune to shame for their theft. Surely they read the newspapers, every one of which carries countless stories of everyday citizens who had their lives turned upside-down by this crisis of their making. The Times had a particularly good one the other day about how millions face years of unemployment because of the crisis. The article is entitled “The New Poor“. Several of the people they interviewed had their savings wiped out and are now on the verge of homelessness. I mean, don’t they read articles like that and feel bad?

Apparently not. I recently spoke with a high-school buddy of mine (well, maybe buddy is the wrong word) who, after an economics degree at Duke, found a comfortable position at a prominent Wall Street firm.

“Yeah, I’m a fat cat”, he said, with an unmistakable note of pride.

I wanted to know how he felt about the new poor, particularly as the company to which he attached himself had a direct hand in causing the financial crisis.

He shrugged. “Those people deserved it. They should have been smarter with their money.”

I was appalled. “But your company sold them predatory loans! I mean, you guys willfully misled them.”

“Look”, he countered, “No one put a gun to their heads and forced them to trust us. They’re idiots. If they were smarter, they would have gone to school, gotten business degrees, and been in a position to know what they’re talking about. You play with fire, you get burned.”

“But then what’s the point of your business? Aren’t you in the business of handling the money of people who lack the knowledge to handle it themselves?”

He laughed mirthlessly. A cold look crept into his eyes. “Are you stupid or something? We’re in the business of making money. That’s it. Sometimes we make money by making other people money – sometimes we make money when other people lose money. That’s the bottom line.”

I was at a loss for words. “How can you be so callous?” I managed to stammer.

“Stop it with this gay shit. Like its my responsibility to worry about every poor loser who comes through my door. I’m only responsible for myself. Period. I don’t go around telling people to watch my back – I watch my own. They should do the same. I’m fucking sick of you assholes coming up to me and whining about all these idiots who lost money during the crash. Those retards deserved it. I looked out for myself – my company looked out for itself – and we’re making money. Those idiots didn’t look out for themselves. They expected someone else to do it. And look what happened.”

Nearly defeated, I asked, “So the banks have no responsibility for all these people who are now financially ruined?”

“If they want to blame someone, they should take a long, hard look in the mirror. These dickheads were happy enough with us when we were making them 15% per year, but now that things go sour they look for someone to blame. It’s their own damn fault. What, they think we’re in business just to help them out? Fucking retards.”

Conscious that I was beginning to sound like a broken record, I persisted. I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“Well, you guys were ready enough to take the government bailouts. I mean, how can you justify that?”

He scowled. “Look, you have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about. What did you study in undergrad? Engineering? Leave this shit to the experts, troll. If the government allowed the banks to fail, the economy would have crashed. Done. The world would have been over. And all those bullshit sob stories you’re trying to sell me, they would have been 100 times worse. Anyway, we’re paying you assholes back, so I don’t see what you’re crying about.”

He left me with a bit of advice. “You really need to pull your head out of your ass. All this crying over others isn’t gonna get you anywhere. You’re what – 22? How much money do you make?”

I told him. He burst into laughter.

“See, that’s what I’m talking about! You’re gonna grow up to be one of these losers we take advantage of, if you aren’t careful. Here, what you should do – read some Ayn Rand. She’ll tell you all you need to know.”

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the mentality of Wall Street, that collection of companies without whom we cannot survive.

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Written by pavanvan

February 24, 2010 at 12:37 pm

3 Responses

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  1. “See, that’s what I’m talking about! You’re gonna grow up to be one of these losers we take advantage of, if you aren’t careful. Here, what you should do – read some Ayn Rand. She’ll tell you all you need to know.”

    It is apparent to me that this person had only a ‘skimming off the top’ of Ayn Rand.

    Ed

    Ed B

    February 24, 2010 at 9:15 pm

  2. He seemed to encapsulate her philosophy rather well. What do you think he got wrong?

    pavanvan

    February 24, 2010 at 9:52 pm

    • A man with a moral compass like that of Ayn Rand would not consider his customers as “losers we take advantage of”.

      Ed B.

      February 24, 2010 at 11:28 pm


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